Terrible 3's?

Some say terrible two's, I have to disagree. Hayden has been a challenge lately...ok for quite a while now but he is not getting easier. He is actually getting tougher and I just do not know how to handle him. I love this boy to pieces but man he can shred my heart. Hes rough and tough and ALL boy. He can be destructive, obnoxious, and just plain wild. He can also be very sweet, thoughtful, and caring. He has me up and down pretty much ALL day (emotionally and physically). He will be 4 in January...it will get better right? Sometimes I wonder if he is normal!!!! My friend says he just way smart and needs to go to school but even school a few days a week will not tire him...I just know it. I try to teach him things like how to write and so on, but he will not listen to me. I often wonder if he has ODD or ADHD...I am at a loss. He does not mind my husband either but he does other people...for the most part. He is unique and has many good qualities but he is so bad sometimes that we tend to overlook the good stuff. Anyone have any suggestions? We are at a loss and it hurts my heart.

He sure does look sweet doesn't he? He is a beautiful boy and so very smart. He makes my heart melt.